Jokes For Old People

I picked up leaves for a few hours today and met the agony of defeat. Mostly the left foot, but they both hurt. And there are still endless effing leaves out there.

Never change, Caribou Coffee Parking Lot.

Respect to the guy in the auto service waiting area who doesn’t hesitate to flip through channels on a whim.

Unfortunately, daytime TV is a vast wasteland so it all sucks and it’s all VERY VERY LOUD.

Dialog from forthcoming Princess Bride 2: The Married Years:

Her: The downstairs bathroom has a nasty clog

Him: As you wish.

Reflections On Ghandi

“Hey, Siri, play some melancholy music.”

“Okay… I hope you’re feeling okay.”

Aww, thanks Siri.